雷人英语
01. 人生的最大遗憾莫过于错误地坚持了不该坚持的，轻易地放弃了不该放弃的……The most regret ion of live is insist on something that shouldn’t be insisted on, give up something that shouldn’tbe given up
02. 大师兄，你知道吗？二师兄的肉现在比师傅的都贵了。
Tang Monk/Tang Priest, don’t you know piggy is more valuable than you? (The Pilgrimage to the West)
03. 怀才就像怀孕，时间长了才能看出来。
Having knowledge likes having pregnant,it takes times to be awareness.
04. 还能冲动，表示你还对生活有激情，总是冲动，表示你还不懂生活。
If you acts on impulse, you have passions in life, if you always acts on impulse, you don’t know what life is.
05. 我问一个在深圳工作了二十年的朋友：“如果你死后，你的墓志铭打算写点啥？”他说：“我解决了住房问题！”
I asked a question to a friend who has been working in Shenzhen for 20 years, what would be the proudest things in your life if you died? He said: I have already pay back the mortgage loan of my department.
06. 妈妈说人最好不要错过两样东西，最后一班回家的车和一个深爱你的人。
Mom said you’d better not miss two things , the last bus to home and the person who loves you deeply.
07. 一天看到一位大妈在烧纸，边烧边嘟囔着：收到了全都买基金吧~~
One day I saw a old woman was burnning paper money and mumbled : buy funds if you get it.
08. 好的爱情是你透过一个男人看到世界，坏的爱情是你为了一个人舍弃世界……
A good love is you find the world for a man; a bad love is you abandon the world for a man.
09. 诸葛亮出山前，也没带过兵!凭啥我就要工作经验？
Before Liang Zhuge coming out, he didnt have experience in leading the army! why i should have experience when look fora job?
10. 如果你看到面前的阴影，别怕，那是因为你的背后有阳光……
If you saw the dark in front of you, dont be afriad, that's because sunshine is at your back. joke:
1.Two Birds
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
2.The Fish Net
Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?
A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl. 够雷的 Funny... 我还是喜欢那句“Good good study, day day up! ” so funny！
